Yawn Classification

Yawns should be named

Posted by 12/12/2007

Everybody yawns. I've noticed there are different kinds of yawns. This is an attempt to classify them.

The Silent Scream

Like someone screaming, without making any noise. I will pause for a second so that you can visualize it.

The Longest Yawn

Lasts more than 8 seconds.

The Jawbreaker

Accompanied with the popping sound of a dislocating Jaw bone.

The Doppler Effect

Starts off at a higher pitch than it ends up at.

The Suppressed Yawn

Happens at meetings. Trying hard not to look like your yawning.

The Fake Yawn

This is not a real yawn. Made to indicate boredom.

The Overly-Vocalized Yawn

Closely related to the 'fake yawn'. Rarely does a yawn actually need any accompanying sound.

The Burp-combination

Rare. When a burp happens at the exact same time as a yawn. Can be fatal.

The Yawn with Outstretched Arms

This is an all-out yawn. Yawn with gusto.

The Head-roll

Another rare yawn. A yawn accompanied by lack of control of neck muscles.

Yawn-speak

The indecipherable speech spoken while yawning.

That is all I can think of for now.

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